The Good Mother

Remember that mom you envied as a child, or maybe she was your mother, who was so compassionate when her kid fell down? That mom did not scold her child for not looking where he was running, or explain to him that his cut wasn’t that bad, no, she exclaimed, "Oh that must have hurt!" And immediately her face reflected her child’s triggered emotional state. She joined her child in exclaiming over the hurt and then she held the child until he had cried all of his fear out. Now that’s being empathetic.

Her empathy gave him the sense that he was not alone in this terrifying event. He could rest in her compassionate presence until his emotion was spent. Then the rational part of his brain could come back online. The emergency was over. Her calm presence helped to shorten the duration of the emergency. Now he could think clearly with his whole brain about how to avoid falling in the future.

Take Home Point: A good mom allows the emotional state of her child. A good friend does the same 

thing. Empathy calms a triggered person down far faster than advice and reason.