My Daughter Doesn't Understand My side

Continuing from yesterday's post:
Do you believe that your daughter doesn't understand you?

Yes.

Byron Katie's 4 steps asks specifically: Do you think it is true that your daughter doesn't understand your side?

Yes, I definitely don't think she does.

The second step is to ask if, after thinking it over, you still think that thought is true?

I do. After the last time we talked, I know that she doesn't.

The 3rd step in Katie's 4 steps is to ask how you feel when you think about how your daughter doesn't understand you.

I feel really sad...depressed...I don't want to do anything. I feel really lonely.

Now the 4th step asks you to imagine that you could not think the thought that your daughter doesn't understand you. Imagine that thought could not exist for you, how would you feel then?

If I couldn't think that my daughter didn't understand me? That's hard to imagine. Well, if for some reason that thought never crossed my mind, I guess I'd feel peaceful and close to my daughter and I probably would just call her.

So you haven't called her?

No, I've been waiting for her to call me and apologize.

So if you couldn't have that thought, you wouldn't wait? You'd just call?

Yeah, I wouldn't be upset with her. I'd just call her like usual.

So that thought is really making a difference in how you treat your daughter?

I hadn't thought of it that way.

The last step in Katie's way of working is to turn around the thought and look at it from another perspective. We will continue with the Turn Around tomorrow.