Human beings enjoy giving: We inherently enjoy contributing to others when we have connected with our own and others’ needs and can experience our giving as coming from choice. ~ Miki Kashton, NVC Trainer
This seventh principle is perhaps the most difficult one to believe for most people. "Yeah, right, people like to give...sure, I can't get my sister to give me an old shoe."
What I've noticed is that people hate demands and will not give when demanded. On the other hand people love to give when they feel that it is a true gift. Human beings and I think maybe animals in general long for and need autonomy. For example, my cat loves to sit on someone's lap and get the pets. If she jumps into my son's lap and he doesn't have time to attend to her, he will put her into my lap. From his point of view, she will be happy to get pet no matter who's lap she is in. 100% of the time, Keiko will immediately leap out of my arms. I can almost hear her mind saying, "I didn't choose your lap." Then a few minutes later she will come back to me, but now it was her choice.
We like to choose. When our friend demands our attention, or nags us for something, something inside us says, "I didn't choose that." But if our friend explains what he needs and requests our help, often we choose to give to him. The choice to give feels good, when it is a choice.
How true!
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